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Taker -> Self-serving in their interactions. ("What can you do for me?")
Giver -> Approaches most interactions by asking ("What can I do for you?")
Matcher -> Balancing Giving & Taking
Ratio of Giver / Taker / Matchers
=> Most people are Matchers.
But is Matcher the most effective and productive way to live your life?
In the organization, Givers are the worst performers because they then a lot of time trying to help other people to improve the team, but they suffer along the way.
Surprisingly, the best results belong to the Givers.
=> How do we create a world where more of these Givers get to excel?
To become a Giver, it is not necessary to make great sacrifices, but to find small ways to add significant value to others' lives and help them. (5 minutes of kindness)
Examples: Introducing two people who can benefit each other, sharing knowledge, giving feedback, etc
If a culture of seeking help isn't fostered, Givers cannot readily step forward to assist.
Example: In organizations where there are nurses specializing solely in assisting other nurses, the rate of asking for help significantly increases.
One Giver may not significantly increase the overall generosity of an organization, but one Taker can ruin all the Givers in the organization.
(Matchers conform to general organizational norms)
We can categorize Givers and Takers into a 2x2 matrix using the criteria of Agreeableness and Disagreeableness.
Giver | Taker | |
Agreeable | Person who seems to say 'Yes' to everything | A.K.A 'Fakers' |
Disagreeable | On the surface, they may grumble and seem rough, but deep down, they care for others. (Most underrated people. They are the ones who give critical feedback.) | Person who seems to say 'No' to everything" |
-> Interview question: 'Please name four people who have fundamentally improved your career.'
- Taker: Likely to mention people who are much more influential than themselves (good at flattery and adept at dealing with superiors)
- Giver: Likely to mention people who are lower in the hierarchy than themselves (can be identified by observing how they treat restaurant staff or Uber drivers)
If an organization can:
Weed out Takers,Create a safe environment for asking for help,Protect Givers from burnout,Enable them to aspire and assist others while pursuing their own goals,
=> This can change the way people define success. In other words, people will realize that success is not about winning in competition, but is closer to making a contribution.
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